Eight Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent!

Since our minds are turned towards Christmas and our gift giving, this came to my attention and I'm passing it on to you.

This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your relationships.

The Gift of Listening. But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, and don't plan your response. Just listen.

The Gift of AffectionBe generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

The Gift of LaughterClip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

The Gift of SolitudeThere are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

The Gift of a FavourEvery day, go out of your way to do something kind. Good deeds are cool.

The Gift of a Written NoteIt can be a simple "Thanks for your help" note, or a longer expression of your appreciation for that person being in your life. A brief handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

The Gift of a ComplimentA simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

The Gift of a Cheerful DispositionThe easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.

These are eight important ways we can contribute toward whole and healthy relationships. They cost nothing, yet they may well be the most valuable gifts we can ever offer another person.

Phil Evans

END-OF-THE-DAY QUESTIONS

A few END-OF-THE-DAY questions for YOU!

Did I take the time to really listen to someone today, with rapt attention, as if nothing else mattered in that precious moment but the words they spoke and the look in their eyes?

Did I allow myself to focus on all the blessings in my life today instead of contemplating the things I don't have?

Did I take a moment to imagine what I would like to experience in my life, if for no other reason than in the imagining, is the living, and in the living, comes the joy and delight?

Did I let go today, let go of resentments and unforgivingness that I have been holding onto, all the while realizing that another person may be wounded too and struggling with their own pain?

Did I keep my word today, no matter how simple a promise I may have made, knowing it meant a whole lot to someone else?

Did I make a conscious choice just to be happy today, no matter what is happening in my own life, just for the next moment, and the next moment and the next?

Did I stop caring about what other people think of me, and give myself permission to be who I am regardless of their good opinion of me or not? Did I set myself free today just by doing that?

Was I successful in noticing and appreciating the bounty before me wherever I went or was I just too busy or lost in my own thoughts to notice?

Did I contribute something beautiful to the world today? A new creation of some kind, a poem, a dinner, a dance?

Was I kind today to anyone or anything that crossed my path, no matter how trivial or how monumental? Did I give away my heart?

Is one person richer because of me today, because of my presence on the planet, my essence, my decision to keep on going no matter what?

Did I learn something new today, something about life, something about myself, something about another that I didn't know before?

Did I let go of my attachment to being right today, and open my mind to the possibility of another way, without judgement?

Will someone sleep better tonight because of me? Will they awaken in the morning believing in themselves again, and walk with their head held high?

Was I the answer to someone's prayers today?

If today was to be my last day on the planet, would I feel happy about how I lived it?

..........Veronica Hay, Author of In a Dream, You Can Do Anything.

Begin Becoming a Whole Human Being

Whenever I find an article that I think is especially good or pertinent to our daily situations, then I want to share this with you. Occasionally I add quotes and one-liners so you might want to check those. I often have my own thoughts and passion about something and will write those also, but when someone else says something worthwhile, I feel it needs no other comments from me. Here is the article (emphasis mine) that I read today that I want to share:

Begin Becoming a Whole Human Being

Have you ever thrown your hands in the air and asked yourself "What in the world is going on with me? How come my best intentions and the ability to accomplish them seem to live in two different universes?"

We intend not to run off like a mad human being, spending money ill-afforded. We intend not to do something mean-spirited or otherwise self-defeating. Yet that is often just what we do. Then we ask, "What happened... how could we?" Yet, for all of our questioning, this mystery remains unsolved.

To paraphrase St. Paul, we don't do what we know is right, and do instead what we sense is all wrong for us. See if the following insight doesn't shed much-needed light into this darkness of our spiritual inability: No intention can be any stronger than our ability to remember it in the moment that it is needed. Considering this fact brings us to a vital discovery about our present nature. The reason we can't remember our intention is because we are not one self. We are a being fragmented into many parts, all of which have separate agendas and therefore individual intentions.

As you have no doubt witnessed, these various aspects of self "argue" with one another -- one tugging this way, the other that way -- and all are unconscious of the fact that their conflict consumes our life's energy. In effect, our time is spent trying to be accountable by pleasing one master after another within ourselves -- only there is no pleasing this "self" (or any other, as they pop up in this psychological chain of false command). However, when you can see how one part of yourself manages to take control of the rest of you, it is the beginning of the end of its authority over you.

To state this same idea in other words, this new and higher form of self-discernment begins with realizing that you are in wrong relationship with these false parts of yourself -- that you are not intended to be their servant, but the other way around! Within this discovery begins the process of letting go of the anxiety and worry that must attend being unconsciously identified with these temporary characters within yourself. As you realize that your greater intentions are rendered powerless in the hands of these vagrant parts of yourself, it also becomes evident that you are not going to be able to fulfill these higher aims until you begin to become a whole human being.

But how can self-unification take place when this aim itself is thwarted at every turn by the very nature it seeks to replace? This question brings us to the solution of a great spiritual mystery. The more we awaken to how inwardly divided we actually are -- and start to see all of the forces randomly operating within us, with no guidance apart from the "good" each separate self desires at the moment -- the more we realize the need for a new kind of unity, a wholeness we are unable to create by ourselves, within ourselves.

With this new understanding comes the dawning that the only way to accomplish our higher intentions in life is to start embracing God's intention for us to be whole and conscious creatures. Our will must be redirected, married to a Greater One. In this gradual redirection of our "willingness," a new sense of self begins to surface in us; no longer do we struggle to will ourselves into being strong or righteous; no more do we turn on ourselves for our "weakness." These former choices, once thought of as being part of what we needed to succeed with our intention, are now recognized as being part of the problem and not the solution.

Our new intention is simply to remember God in our life, and this will becomes the one part of ourselves with which we meet everything that life brings to us. -- Guy Finley

If You Change One Thing, You Change Everything

Looking back on your life, what would you change if you could?

In the classic 1946 film It's a Wonderful Life, the main character, a small-town bank officer played by Jimmy Stewart, is about to commit suicide when an angel shows him how different the lives of people in Bedford Falls would be if he hadn't been born. The movie is a favorite because it affirms how each of us touches the lives and shapes the future in unexpected and often marvelous ways.

More modern films like Back to the Future, Sliding Door, and Frequency are built on a similar premise: If you change the past, you change the future - often in dramatic and unpredictable ways. If you change one thing, you change everything.


Given the potential impact of every decision you make, it's wise to think ahead. Although few things turn out exactly as we plan, the better we understand how our choices start a chain reaction of events, the more likely we are to get what we want.


The enormous complexity of cause and effect leads to another conclusion: It's futile to look back at our lives with "what if" scenarios. What's done is done. Although changing our past would change our present, it would do so in ways that are so unpredictable that we could never know whether it would be for better or worse.

Accept and celebrate the fact that what you are today is a direct result of everything that's happened to you. It's pointless to wish things were different. Remember, if you change one thing, you change everything.


Michael Josephson
http://www.charactercounts.org/

IS GOD IN CONTROL?

I haven't written anything now for a couple weeks and thought it was time I do so. At our church we have been considering this question, is God in control? It has brought about some very good discussions. In the past we have sung songs like "God is in Control" and we say it as a matter of habit and form without really thinking too much about it. It does sound spiritual. But it also sounds like we don't have to be too responsible because God is ultimately in control and the results are up to Him. Sometimes it is simply a cop out.

But consider this: In Genesis 1:26....God says.... "and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth". Then in verse 28... "and subdue it: and have dominion". Then go to Deuteronomy 30:19...."that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live." If we believe God is engineering our life, molding us into something He wants, why would he have given us the choice to do what we want? People have heard this phrase for so many years and think they don't have to do anything because God is in control! They use that as an excuse to live a mediocre life and hide in the church all their lives. And these people feel they are being spiritual because they are allowing God to "be in control".

God did not make us to be robots. He gave us a mind to use and the power to choose. We were given the responsibility to choose and then the results were there. Sometimes we don't like the results but it is the natural outcome of our choices. God actually trusted us with choices but He gave us Jesus to show us how to live and how to make the right choices. We know that God IS in control of the entire universe in an overall sense. He is over all but it is amazing to think that He gave to us the ability to choose for ourselves.

Sometimes people feel it is easier to follow rules than be responsible and make right choices. But to God relationship with Him is what counts. The closer we get into relationship the more we trust God. Any relationship that has trust involved takes time to develop to warrant the trust. God is no different. When we have fear, worry, and are overly concerned about the future, is that an indication that our relationship with God isn't established enough to trust Him? Are we just saying and doing the "right" things?

I grew up in a Christian family and we learned all the do's and don'ts, the list of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. It was all done believing it was the right thing to do and of course most parents followed this pattern in raising their children. As the years went on I began to think about how I raised my kids. Did I teach them to be "good", to mind me, to avoid punishment, to do all the right things and avoid the wrong, to learn a way of behavior, or did I teach them to love God with their whole being and to be individually responsible to God to learn what was right for them.

You can teach children almost anything since they are pliable and able to learn. But with the church teaching the set of rules to obey, all we have to do is abide by that and don't take seriously our personal relationship with God. We feel we are doing okay because we are doing all the rules right. However, we need to know ourselves how God wants us to live and what to do or not do. My parents were doing what they learned and had the best of motives and I am SO thankful for my Christian heritage that it sometimes overwhelms me. But there are things I could have done as I grew up that would not have been wrong. The Bible advocates moderation. Would this have been a better way to have been taught: "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." I believe personal responsibility is what is needed. Rules are to be broken while choices keep us responsible.

Many years ago I was under the impression that I should be "called" to something special, to do a work for the Lord, and I didn't know what it was and struggled to find out. Finally I came to realize that what God wants for us is to live a simple life, and BE a witness wherever we go. I read a quote the other day that was pretty good. "Evangelism exists because worship doesn't". If we develop that relationship that God wants with us, people will be coming to us!! And our choices will be the right ones!

Your Attitude Makes the Difference

Many things about your life boil down to the hand you have been dealt. You can't change the fact that you were born in that place and with certain givens for your appearance, IQ, or physical skills. Education and training can open some doors for you, but they cannot change your past, make you taller and more athletic, or alter the fact that some people are unfair in the way they treat you.

In spite of the fact that all of us know that most of our life circumstances are beyond our control, we are all still tempted to fret and complain about things that cannot be changed. Of course they cause distress. They certainly put us at a disadvantage in certain contexts. They mustn't be allowed to define and limit us.

The people who do best with life move beyond the temptation to whine and feel sorry for themselves. They face the disappointment and move beyond it. They acknowledge the bad break and look for a way to turn it around. They work from a half-full rather than half-empty glass mindset.

These people have a different attitude than the defeatist and whiner. They have found a way to make lemonade from their lemons.

There is a section in John Baillie's A Diary of Private Prayer that reads . . .

Teach me, O God, so to use all the circumstances of my life today that they may bring forth in me the fruits of holiness rather than the fruits of sin.

Let me use disappointment as material for patience;
Let me use success as material for thankfulness;
Let me use suspense as material for perseverance;
Let me use danger as material for courage;
Let me use reproach as material for longsuffering;
Let me use praise as material for humility;
Let me use pleasures as material for temperance;
Let me use pains as material for endurance.

When a given day begins, countless things are headed your way over which you have no control. It may be bad weather or someone's bad temper, a deadline that won't budge or a client equally resistant to change. The one factor you can control through it all is your attitude toward them.

Your attitude today will make all the difference in everything that matters.

Rubel Shelly....Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, MI

The Cookie Thief

"There’s a nice poem by Valerie Cox circulating on the Internet about a woman who bought some cookies and a book at an airport and sat down to read and nibble while waiting for her plane. She soon noticed a man sitting next to her, who casually took a cookie from the bag.

Although shocked and seething, the woman remained silent as the man, without the slightest sign of shame or gratitude, quietly helped himself, matching her cookie for cookie.

When there was one cookie left, she watched in amazement as he picked it up, smiled at her as if he were being gracious, and broke it in half. He ate one half and gave her the other. Congratulating herself for maintaining her cool, she said nothing to this rude cookie thief, astonished at the nerve of some people.

Later, when she was settling into her seat on the plane, she rummaged through her purse and discovered the bag of cookies she’d purchased, still unopened. The moral message is contained in the poem’s closing stanza:

“If mine are here,” she moaned with despair,“Then the others were his, and he tried to share.”Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

Being sure is not the same as being right. Certainty without humility can lead to self-righteousness that distorts our view and understanding of the world and of people.

Humility doesn’t require us to be equivocal or doubtful about our deepest convictions. What it asks is that we hold and advocate our beliefs without dismissing the possibility that others may be right instead.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts."

Michael Josephson
http://www.charactercounts.org/