Rise Above the Blame Game

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Blaming conflict-filled feelings on any condition, or person, outside of yourself is like getting angry at your shoes for being laced too tight.

So here is an effective inner life step designed to help you grow and develop greater spiritual strength: No matter what happens, never blame anyone -- or anything -- for the way you feel. Rising above the blame game is the same as learning how to be in total command of yourself.

Irritated inner states never seek solutions; they only seek reasons for why they have a right to exist! These states constantly feed you "good reasons" as to why you feel badly. The weakness that blames others blinds you to your real inner condition; which is going nowhere except around and down.

The next time you feel yourself starting to become frustrated, angry, or scared, do your best to confirm this next vital insight: Negative emotions cannot exist without having something to blame for their punishing presence.

Even if you have to remove yourself physically from a developing situation, then do it. Find some way to temporarily isolate yourself -- along with your smoldering emotional state. Please note: Isolate yourself along with your agitation.

Voluntarily isolating yourself along with your irritated thoughts and feelings doesn't mean cutting them off; nor does it mean that you should pretend that you're not on fire. Suppression of these weak inner states is just the opposite of angrily expressing them, and every bit as harmful. Don't express -- or suppress -- any negative state. Besides, either one of these opposite approaches always produces the same results; nothing changes except for what's being blamed. Choosing to not blame lifts you above both of these losing choices.

Your conscious non-action turns you into the objective witness of your own superheated emotions. And from the safety of this higher awareness you see about yourself what you couldn't see before because of all the inner fire and smoke. Your discoveries empower you to cancel the real cause of your inner combustibility. Not only is your self-command restored, but it's heightened. Each discovery of an unseen weakness heralds the coming of a greater spiritual strength. -- Guy Finley